Kisame Needs a Job!
by Slyer
Summary: Kisame needs a job, and he's running out of all options that don't sell fish for food. And so, our sharky hero finds himself in the beautiful Caribbean one fine summer's day. Oneshot, PotC crossover.


A/N: I got this random idea because I was thinking about how to make a crossover of Pirates of the Caribbean. I liked it, it seemed like a decent idea, so here I am now, typing an author's note to let you all know. Yeah. Ah, and pardon me if Kisame seems a bit off... I haven't ever thought of writing him, and I don't really know his character all that well...

**WARNING: May contain traces of spoilers, as it has come in contact with a fairly new movie (at the time, anyway...). No major spoilers, but little itty bitty ones. I dunno, some people might not like my background info...**

DISCLAIMER: I own not Naruto nor either of the Pirates movies. Yeah. If I did, I'd likely be intelligent enough to keep them separate, and I probably wouldn't be typing this anyway.

SUMMARY: Kisame needs a job, and he's running out of all options that don't sell fish for food. And so, our sharky hero finds himself in the beautiful Caribbean one fine summer's day.

Kisame Needs a Job!

The sun was high, and the tides were as low as Hoshigaki Kisame's hopes. He had been job hunting for weeks on end, and nothing was working. Most people took one good look at him and denied him the application, some gave him the application but stashed it in the trash bin as soon as he returned it, and a very few would actually go so far as to invite him back for an interview. As hopeful as he would get, all hope was dashed as soon as they found out he was a missing-nin. No, sorry, we have no place here for people on the run.

Most of Kisame's options were running out, and he was starting to get desperate enough to look in places that served, kage forbid, _fish._ Not that he didn't mind the food every once in awhile, but what if someone mistook _him_ as the food? As stated before, Kisame was getting desperate.

One sunny and blaringly hot afternoon, Kisame wandered through the various stalls set up near the docks of a large port. He had lost track of where he had been and where he was going, so his current location, as well as any goings on in the area, was a mystery to him. However, to the traders and sailors there in the Caribbean, there was only one topic to be spoken of.

"The_ Flying Dutchman_ struck again, they say."

"Really? Who this time?"

"I di'n't know 'em, but there weren't no survivors."

"O' course not, the _Flying Dutchman_ takes survivors fer 'er crew. Seems that ship always takes on more 'ands."

"Yeh, an' I 'eard..."

Kisame, with a quick glance around and an uncontrollable grin plastered gaudily on his face, leaned in towards the current conversation. "Hey, where's this ship you're talkin' about?"

The sailors stared at him like he was a lunatic.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Is that a you don't know?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Okay then, thanks for your time..." And Kisame slunk off, feeling vaguely like a lunatic for having tried to talk to complete strangers about something that was clearly not talked about to strangers. Perfect.

The next day found him out in the middle of nowhere in a tiny boat, the missing-nin having rationalized that if he seemed to be a survivor from some big boat sinking, that _Airborne Norse-guy _or whatever would come and give him an interview. No _Airborne Norse-guy _came, but when he started getting dreadfully hungry and faint from thirst (he had also rationalized that having food and water would nullify his whole plot) the _Flying Dutchman _popped up like a cork from the depths right next to him.

He was a bit shocked, to say the least, as the massive animalistic ship appeared in an almost-as-massive spume of water. But oh, look, a few creepy looking people were coming over to his little boat. Time for an interview.

Kisame put on his best front, despite the hunger and thirst, as he was escorted, rather roughly, to the barnacle encrusted ship. While most would have been horrified or disgusted, he was immensely pleased with the appearance of the crew members. Hey, if _they_ could find a place on this ship, _he_ could. Some of them were downright bizarre, and he swore he spotted another sharky man. If it weren't for the fact that that guy was rather hammerhead-sharky, Kisame would get along perfectly. But he didn't like hammerheads. They looked funny.

But then again, the strange man that stalked out to confront the missing-nin looked funny, too. It looked like he was wearing an octopus as a beard and had replaced a normal prosthetic hand for a crab's. Kisame ignored it, though; the way people acted when the strange... thing... came out pointed out that this strange octopus-faced man was the captain. Kisame would definitely fit in here.

"Welcome to the _Flyin' Dutchman, _I have an offer fer ye, stranger. Now, would ye rather die here, or escape hell fer the next hund'erd years, servin' on me ship? Answer quick now, we got places to be and people to find."

Kisame was staring rather blankly at the captain, entranced by the odd appearance of the octopus moving as if it were actually the mans face, but only because he didn't know it actually was. After a few seconds he regained semi-awareness and paused. "Uh... hundred years? Isn't that a bit much? What happens after that?"

The captain made a weird popping noise that made Kisame twitch. "Well, after tha' ye die, o' course."

Kisame frowned, considering the job requirements. "And there's no way to leave or transfer when I get tired of this? Or can you fire me?"

There was silence from the ship and its crew for a few moments before the captain tilted his head to the side. "I'm not sure what ye mean. Ye serve on me ship fer a hund'erd years an' then ye die. Ye don't get off the ship unless I says so, and if I fire ye, ye die sooner rather than later."

"Oh..." Kisame sighed and frowned. "Well then, I guess I'll keep looking for a job, Thanks for your time, sir." And he turned to leave, jumping off the edge of the ship and swimming away (his little boat was all for show). No one tried to stop him from leaving, as everyone on the _Flying Dutchman_ was too busy staring in confusion.

As he swam away and back to land, Kisame ran over his last effort options to stay away from working in a fish market. There weren't many, but he had heard of an opening in a terrorist group of missing-nin...


End file.
